Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize