Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
