one two three fourrrrnication!
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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