best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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