she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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