ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
