Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
