Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
how drunk are you?
Several
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
