U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
