i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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