You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
