i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
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He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
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I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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