He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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