Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
her facebook's as public as her vagina
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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