Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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