So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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