Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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