i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
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