some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I supernannyed him into submission
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
