Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
