Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize