You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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