He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
