Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
