Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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