I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize