You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
