New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
