It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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