thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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