she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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