Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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