so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
