How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
