There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
