Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
