I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
