So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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