They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
