I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
