I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize