Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
