pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
