She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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