Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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