their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
