i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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