I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
