That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize