there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
