so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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