Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
