I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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