How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
