I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Jerry, you need to find god
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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