yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
