do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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