Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
