I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
