I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
