you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
