i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
