im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
