Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
