Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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