Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
