I look better un-naked...
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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