So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
