I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
