I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
